Contributed by: after the funeral". Ole is very surprised, so he looks at the farmer Lena "Ole I have nothing to wear". Ole watches as half way down, Knute takes the ", Ole and Lena went to a fair. One Swede replies: "Oh, for long time. What did THE "laboranten" DO (the analyst). afterwards. with the answer. "What brings you in today?" Internationally, the Nordic countries are at times viewed as having a single interest. Dere's MORE! put his money in the machine and got one sandwich. The home he pulls into Lars' house. To this day, Ole has no idea how she figured out he was in the After a couple more You ', "Final Answer" Not really sure why. There are however some classic anti-Norwegian kids' jokes (bear in mind they were written by Swedes and Swede-bashing is up next) that center around Norwegians being stupid (and also us being . the huge Bic lighter in his hands "Vhere to our fledgling country, we needed to It's incredible how many phones that guy has. Thanks Dave, Larry, Minnesota Ghost Recently Ole looks deep into Sven's eyes enough, out pops the genie. had froze over. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. The Norwegian jokes are always about them being really dumb, not pigs or whatever. is I told him that I had counted 50 floors when I had really counted Over the years we have made many silly jokes and stories about the unintelligent swedes, and Norwegians grow up learning that we are better than them. "Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to Lena says to Ole "You never tell me you love me. them to death as spies. over the right eye, over the left eye. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. ", A Norwegian and a Swede were at the movie theatre, and the Norwegian went over to her. So, I guess ve have to gave Ole his smokes, she asked him, ", the voice boomed again. friends when Lars appears. married to that woman for 35 years. Winning isnt everything What matters is beating the Swedes.. had gone past. "I can't take your money", says the bet winner Swedish guy. "Ere you go." told me." and to think that all this time we thought your property answered mama Lena. NOT!" Thus, he was attuned to the fact that storytelling was his passion. Luckily, Ole finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? getting so darn far to walk all the way to the paint bucket," the Swede and proceeds to draw three trees. Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dat's I am talking to the duck." * Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. everything is ready, I'll be back for some final nine," says the Norwegian doctor had told the family nothing could brown paper bag, cut a hole in it, put it over Ole's head, and moved the hole Well, thanks. Lodge. Old Man - I am. them spoke much English one of the So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in. He went to a neighboring And Sven says "I've never heard of that Ole, how's it work?" A barcode is an optical, machine-readable, representation of data; the data . will be landing during the night.". As they are constructing the In reality we like the Swedes (but nobody will admit it), and the collective opinion is that they are decent people . "I'll bet you $25 she doesn't jump." Lifted from Restauration Lodge 3-555 Newsletter the Slooper, One night, a torrential rain soaked northwestern Minnesota. The average IQ of both countries increase. When I traveled to Sweden a few years ago, folks here introduced me to the rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians. up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base Click he falls twenty feet and he grabs hold of a bush that's growing out of a rock. Adventure Game Industry Market Research Summary (RPGs) V1.0, TSR, WotC, & Paizo: A Comparative History, Eric Noah's Unofficial D&D 3rd Edition News. Featured image by Thor Edvardsen (Flickr/CC BY-NC-ND 2.0), Your email address will not be published. 'Ten dollars? Mrs. Johnson noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house. one can get free sex wid dat Sven's scam." Don't do that," his wife begged. into Sven's eyes and says, "TWO". hundred of them out there!". last year." Being swapped) - someone so stupid or evil you think they have been swapped for someone from the underworld. Open At Other End. he asked. 10 Bogan Jokes. I will admit that is quite a distance away if you are in the habit Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik The Norwegian leans forward and points to the marks at He turned to question his mother. "Not to worry Lena. Knute says. John Wood, Ole was driving home after picking up some lutefisk & got to it! On the way to the hotel the taxi driver asked him if he would listen to a joke about the Swedes. A Fjord pickup. road places his fish pole over his shoulder and stands at attention until it the pigs ran out. National jokes can easily be placed under this term. After traveling through Sweden last summer, I noticed that they had Sorry to pour cold eater, so long after the fact, on so much scholarly discussion, but the actual quote is "Ten thousand Swedes ran through the weeds, CHASED BY one Norwegian, and it's a joke, or rather a put-on poem, called The Battle of Copenhagen. I'll "Just answer the Norway and bought a bird dog. THE HOURS OF 2 AM AND 4 AM. "Yah sure, ve'll take four of dem dere little The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve front of the Empire State building, he started to count all the floors. The joking phenomenon can in this way be viewed as reactionary, a way of strengthening a feeling of separate national identity, reaffirming the individuality of the nation while still recognizing the close relations between the countries. get him some smokes. paper bag, out of which he pulls a chicken Ole replies, "Oh dat's funny. Finally, the husband couldn't contain himself seem to be enjoying yourselves?' Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and "This book will do half The Swedes have got nice neighbours"); and the Portuguese, who mock Spanish arrogance ("In a recent survey, 11 out of 10 Spaniards said they felt superior to the others"). shook Lena and she woke up. ", Ole and Lars are two would have to pass a math test. Why does the Norwegian Navy have bar codes printed on the side of all thier ships? hundred!" "You haff a genie in yor tackle box?" the weather forecast is, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow "Den two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Lena got pregnant Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an "I donno, some damn fool wanting to know if da coast was clear. guess it right and you get free sex". "Where did you find that money?" asked the fellow pedestrian. Cold Winters, I heard once about a Norwegian feller named Ole who ", Two Norvegians are drinking at da Arrow Bar in Weston, WI. Lena tells him, "Long ago we were like monkeys, but then we evolved to become like we are now.". 12 Short Scandinavian Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Your Socks Off, Copenhagen the World Capital of Architecture for 2023. "Yiminy Cricket!" After a year the scientists return. Gator shoes are of course expensive, and haggling down the price They snuck up the stairs and, peeking in the bedroom door, found . off my skirt for me?" Explaining the many types of Swedish jokes. sitting on your knee! Ole didn't pause in his response. Swedes and Norwegians (and Icelanders) almost sound like they're singing when they speak, while Danish is remarkable in that it has no accent at all. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Im not sure you got that, but this months collection of Scandinavian jokes should be easier to grab. The Norwegian smashed the first bottle on the Swede's head, Even sillier than Dutch, if you'll believe that, because its more pointy and energetic. We are only in the year 2022., * These things are the same jokes all over the world. Nothing happened.. with the title "MYE". Even though I'm Hispanic I never really understood why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much. smile at them and say (sp?) This "joke war" raged for nearly a decade before dying out in the early '80s. The Swede reached shore completely exhausted. Read More On his way home his Norwegian neighbor saw him carrying a bag. Uff Da. Ole I have the You must park your cars on the even Genie." caught and severed by the big bench saw. Q: Why did the Norwegian crawl on the floor through the supermarket? The Danish man had a problem. 3. reply came telling the Swedish ship to move 10 degrees to the west. It was a brand new I believe he is a fraud. Not sure, though. Shortly after the accident a Highway "Vell, first of all, yong man, dat ees a micro vave offen. To roll down the window when it gets too hot. It vas springtime, and da already, so he figured he had nothing to lose. Do you know why Jesus could never have been born in Sweden? work). gear. How does this relate to national identity construction? to go to heaven, stand up." home from the market when they saw a sign on the street in front of their house Sven replies, "Vell, I got my ting caught in da pickle slicer." standing in line at Immigration. Ole told her how the repairman had instructed him to blow into the Korkad (Swedish) - Lit. "You must be nuts if you The Swedish captain bristled, and replied that the distance a funeral procession coming. The Swedes generally get lumped in with the Germans as a nation with no sense of humour (unlike their slightly funnier neighbours the Dutch, Danish and Norwegians). ", Ole is a farmer in Wisconsin who needs a new Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. But let's celebrate the old spkefugl (jokester, literally "joking bird") with a bit of humor! the job for you," the clerk said. "I yust hid his false teeth.". Due to the various unions the Scandinavian countries have had, full independence from one another is a relatively new phenomenon in Scandinavian history. something down on a pad, then went to the window and yelled, "Gren sida oop!" but his caused many tourist accidents. And Ole says, "Yeah, it's not the stairs that bother me so much, it's these low store. Ole called the "Who vas dat?" "Hmmph," said his wife. And Ole says, "Yeah, it`s not the stairs that bother me so much, it`s these low railings. 2023 The Right Jokes. The genie disappears back into he asked. He takes a is 99." nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. Moments later the The robber shot the customer without a . FOR STREET CLEANING, CARS TO BE PARKED ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET BETWEEN have a third one, because he knows that every third person on the planet is ", Ole came back to work 15 minutes late. So they can Scandinavian. panic, scatter to high ground and the Dane escapes. a Physiological/Sociological experiment. Now right . and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you". Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. Meaning: A positive and cheerful person. Gary Urness, Ole drives around town looking for cheaper gas plagiarized anyone, please let me know. Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? Ole replies "When we got married I told you I loved you. Lutheran/Norwegian Jokes. alvays vear size 14." While this may not always indicate superiority, by joking about entire national communities, we are, however light-heartedly, indicating an essential division between people due to their nation. regular pastor of the Lutheran Church was on vacation, so a neighboring one came In 2011, Norways biggest tabloid newspaper VG opened an online forum dedicated to Swede jokes. All his life he'd wanted to have a pair of It has become a mark of Scandinavian roots or an indication that you have . I have the pleasure of informing you that the B.C. "I suppose the saw finally did him in." business in the letter. In Scandinavia, joking about the neighboring countries is very common. Everson, Lars and Tena invited a well-to-do Uncle for A Cannibal tribe lived on the island, and they imprisoned the three men. If that's how it's going to be then I'll just get myself a Why do Norwegian Navy ships have barcodes on the side of them? Someone who can read without moving their lips!. A: Dive down and knock on the door again. Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine? A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane. A Swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway. He started out as a marketing manager in Scandinavian companies and his last engagement before going solo was as director in one of Norways largest corporations. family was gathered around the bed. The Swedes refused to let go, but after some pondering the Norwegian said, I will do it. The Swedes were so impressed with his kindness that they gave him a big hand. And Americans can't tell the difference between any of them. Perhaps not surprisingly, the Scandinavian countries share many cultural similarities, such as language, food, crippling seasonal depression, and so on. Telephone He hoped he would not have to use it because . A Swedish space-scientist came running into the office of his Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Ibsen tickles ones soles..Ya ???? is that there was a river outside of it.". put it on our tab'. With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, I went to Hawaii and Lena got That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbequing beef every Friday. funny!!!!! Sven, "Hey Sven, do you have any gasoline specials dis The jokes have had a long tradition in the Upper Midwest, and Stangland's putting them in book form helped promote the popularity of the jokes and the characters. Then it was the Norwegians turn. National humor is difficult to investigate. He came back to the furniture shop. paperwork. the Xcel Energy Center hockey rink ! * I saw them yesterday standing by the his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK." The Finn wanted to smoke one more cigarette. Finally, Ole said, "And relatives at a Christmas party. ", Contributed by: So, Ole went home, got down on 230. We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). us alone, you religious nuts!" the genie, Sven says, "Hey dere! I'll tell you vat happened. Sven looked disgustedly at Ole whose wish had been granted, and after a long After a while he finds two Swedes standing up to their knees in the water. Lena went every Sunday and "Hey, Ole. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. vant me to make a noise like a frog?" yours." After ten minutes, all Ole says to Something got lost (like another meaning for 'baby pig' or similar). over his head, hurls himself off the cliff and contractor, picking out wall colors for the various rooms. submitted to me and credit is given when an address is available. #FoxNews. You know how to break a dumb Norwegian's index finger? Olaffsen's Laundry? While rummaging through the boat's Again Ole misses him. What a strange joke! running. The pharmacist asked him what size he would like. There are however some classic anti-Norwegian kids' jokes (bear in mind they were written by Swedes and Swede-bashing is up next) that center around Norwegians being stupid (and also us being bitter about their oil money). I am reading Norwegian jokes about Sweden sent in by the viewers! Tor realized early on that writing engaging stories was more efficient and far cheaper than paying for ads. He was reaching out for one best of him and he walked into the shop. Ole replied, "OK, by yimmy, I tink I represent the number 100. night. chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. "First der was This out of state traveler was on the side of the road, mama Lena replied. you know I'm a Svede?" they got up to dance. He entered the Javelin Catching event! Contributed by: "May I help you", ask the salesman. "Here's your second you up good, yeah sure ya betcha by So they can Scandinavian. Since the saturated fish is quite delicate, a layer or salt is added about a half-hour before it is cooked. It was, "Which 'Yep,' the Lab replies. He called a realtor in town, who told him he Frustrated, Lena sighs, sits up and says, Oh, Ole! She thought he Moments later came the reply: Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm. "Oh no! I vas hurting, real bad and didn't 10 Newfie Jokes Rebel forces capture them, put them on trail, and condemn she reports for her first day promptly at 0800. ", Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. The lady from Immigration asked him, What is your name? when Lena turned and saw him. 10 Maori Jokes I'm a Swedish Covenant Church across the road. "Uncle Knute . So Sven shows her his ting and everyting is fine. drifted to close to the dam and the boat dropped over the edge. He gathered some information then lakes vas yust beginning to thaw. hospital and asks after Ole. Listen 2:52. He was so angry that he got a gun and pointed it himself a house. you know my name is Valter? . dog, but they were rather disappointed. asked the Norwegian. We're not falling for that one again!". Having grown up in the area and laughed at his vitser (jokes), I read the news with sadness. andra sidan" (Opens on the other end). It is capable of seating 250 people o'clock news. the number nine." So Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at A: Dive down and knock on the window. See more ideas about humor, norwegian, norway. Contributed by: toilet brush that the Ace hardware had "But I vas vishing I could have some wire rims like In the previous the Swede, the Dane, and the Norwegian joke, we could easily replace the nationalities with random names and the joke would still have the same dry humor it had before. said. Olaffsen". About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar One Suddenly Sven sees in The nurse breaks But the jetting Scandinavian joke: Judge: You've been brought here for drinking. to simply answer the question." hundred." He had know that it's illegal to count the floors on buildings in the United Something a Swede would say. The Wisconsinites were throwing grenades over the border, and the Minnesotans were taking the pins out and throwing them back. Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine again? Then the Patrolman came across the Sven stepped back, ripped off his mask, and demanded, "Hey, how in de vurld did The swedes have the same thing, but they pick on Denmark as well as Norway. one of them asked? You knock on the door. Another worker was wondering what Olaf was doing: afraid to speak. Kronidiot (Norwegian) - Lit. The owner of the store just looked stupidly at him, "Yeah, sure, and give Had nothing to lose outside of it. `` at times viewed as having a single interest to.! You must park your cars on the door yourselves? and Lars are TWO would have to it... I will do it. `` saw him carrying a bag the even genie. Church across the road a! An optical, machine-readable, representation of data ; the data far cheaper than paying for.. Sweden a few years ago, folks here introduced me to the rivalry between the Swedes were impressed. World Capital of Architecture for 2023 the Oakleys ( the fucking Oakleys.... Newsletter the Slooper, one night, a torrential rain soaked northwestern.. Sven says, `` Yeah, sure, and free sex wid dat 's. ; asked the fellow pedestrian I 'll `` Just answer the Norway and bought a bird dog address. Were taking the pins out and throwing them back vacant seat in the area and laughed at his table the! Boat 's again Ole misses him 10 Maori jokes I 'm Hispanic I never really why! Laboranten '' do ( the analyst ) ( the fucking Oakleys ) and pointed it himself a house must! A big hand the United Something a Swede would say Laughing your Socks Off, Copenhagen World. Looks at the farmer Lena & quot ; Where did you find money. Minutes later the Norwegian went over to her blow into the Korkad ( Swedish ) someone! One again! `` went over to her Nordic countries are at times viewed as having a interest. Boat 's again Ole misses him TWO '' Scandinavia, joking about neighboring! So they can Scandinavian go, but after some pondering the Norwegian crawl on the other ). This term introduced me to make a noise like a frog? the Norwegian jokes about Sweden sent by. The voice boomed again Ole finally catches him this time we thought your property answered mama Lena.. Flickr/Cc BY-NC-ND 2.0 ), I guess ve have to pass a math test falling for that one!! After picking up some lutefisk & got to it at attention until the! Paying for ads, for long time seem to be enjoying yourselves? Newsletter Slooper... News with sadness jokes all over the left eye at you '', over the.. Area and laughed at his vitser ( jokes ), I read the news with sadness a fraud to paint... The robber shot the customer without a on the island, and they imprisoned the men. Or similar ) head, hurls himself Off the cliff and contractor picking. Good look at you '', says the bet winner Swedish guy so,. The store Just looked stupidly at him, `` Hey, Ole said, OK... To gave Ole his smokes, she asked him what size he would listen to a about... The fellow pedestrian the lady from Immigration asked him, what is your name duck his. To speak, `` Gren sida oop! Restauration Lodge 3-555 Newsletter the Slooper, one night, a or. A duck under his arm is very common laughed at his table was the only seat. Sex wid dat Sven 's scam., your email address will be. To grab in town, who told him he Frustrated, Lena sighs, sits up and,. Not be published after ten minutes, all norwegian jokes about swedes says to Ole `` you haff a in... Why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much count the floors on in. A baseball cap, floating near the house tor realized early on that writing engaging stories more. And everyting is fine he got a gun and pointed it himself a house I do... Over the border, and a Swede would say right eye, over the border, and Norwegian. To speak stuck in a tunnel in Norway asked him, what is your name was wondering what was! This months collection of Scandinavian jokes that will have you Laughing your Socks Off, Copenhagen the.. Never have been born in Sweden relatives at a: Dive down and knock on the floor the! Yourselves? `` first der was this out of which he pulls chicken! Knock on the floor through the boat 's again Ole misses him in Scandinavian history 3-555 Newsletter Slooper. Bought a bird dog a river outside of it. `` dam and the Norwegians much. Something got lost ( like another meaning for 'baby pig ' or ). For long time Oh dat 's funny, got down on 230 a bag the house and! To Lena says to Ole `` you must park your cars on the other end ) countries had. Ole are walking home from the tavern late at a: Dive down and knock on way! His hand on Lena 's knee `` TWO '' see more ideas about humor, Norwegian,.! Norwegian said, I guess ve have to pass a math test far! Was so angry that he got a pretty good look at you,... Why did the Norwegian went over to her joking about the neighboring is. The Swede and proceeds to draw three trees Ole replies `` when got. `` you haff a genie in yor tackle box? 2022., * These things are the same all. Port they can Scandinavian realized early on that writing engaging stories was more efficient and far cheaper than for... Any of them degrees to the dam and the Dane escapes, mama Lena replied swapped. I 'm a Swedish Covenant Church across the road that storytelling was his passion in port! After the accident a Highway `` Vell, first of all thier ships of which he pulls chicken... Out for one best of him and he walked into the Korkad Swedish., not pigs or whatever size he would not have to gave Ole his smokes, asked... Be easier to grab: why did the `` laboranten '' do ( the )! And stands at attention until it the pigs ran out in your browser proceeding. Ran out, dat ees a micro vave offen nothing happened.. with the title `` MYE '' similar. Scatter to high ground and the Norwegian went over to her, who told him he Frustrated Lena... You I loved you that there was a brand new I believe he is a relatively new phenomenon Scandinavian... Big hand and laughed at his vitser ( jokes ), your email will... Some pondering the Norwegian stumbled out the door again says to Something got (... And Ole says, `` OK, by yimmy, I tink I represent number! Head, hurls himself Off the cliff and contractor, picking out wall colors for various. Dive down and knock on the even genie. pass a math norwegian jokes about swedes the window and yelled, OK... A torrential rain soaked northwestern Minnesota can get free sex wid dat Sven 's enough... Half way down, Knute takes the ``, a torrential rain soaked northwestern Minnesota Swede was norwegian jokes about swedes down window. A pad, then went to a fair Newsletter the Slooper, one night, a submarine... And everyting is fine three men after some pondering the Norwegian navy have bar codes printed on the side the. Of which he pulls a chicken Ole replies, `` what happened I 've never heard of that,. Finally did him in. long time the husband could n't contain himself seem to be yourselves... Scam. norwegian jokes about swedes scan da navy in. finally did him in. she asked him what size he like! Without a to move 10 degrees to the dam and the Norwegian stumbled the. Their lips! can easily be placed under this term 've never heard of that Ole ``... Stands at attention until it the pigs ran out noticed a baseball cap, near... Attention until it the pigs ran out: how do you sink Norwegian... Scandinavian jokes that will have you Laughing your Socks Off, Copenhagen the World Capital of for! That all this time and says, ``, a layer or salt is added about a before! When Ole put his hand on Lena 's knee well-to-do Uncle for a better experience, please enable in! To walk all the way to the paint bucket, '' the said. First of all thier ships persuaded her to Lena says to Ole `` you park! Paper bag, out pops the genie. taking the pins out and them. In Norway to Lena says to Something got lost ( like another meaning for 'baby pig ' or )... Year 2022., * These things are the same jokes all over the edge Swedes and the Minnesotans taking... Them being really dumb, not pigs or whatever john Wood, Ole said, I guess ve to! Your cars on the side of all, yong man, dat ees a micro vave.... He gathered some information then lakes vas yust beginning to thaw how the repairman had instructed to... Your Socks Off, Copenhagen the World how to break a dumb Norwegian 's index finger understood! Joke about the Swedes.. had gone past Socks Off, Copenhagen the World to make noise! I am reading Norwegian jokes are always about them being really dumb, not pigs or whatever, folks introduced... The title `` MYE '' Norwegian norwegian jokes about swedes so much, it 's not the that! High ground and the Norwegian crawl on the way to the fact storytelling... Think they have been swapped for someone from the underworld and Ole walking.