We actually ended up breaking up and I tried to distance myself. I know it was all my fault and wish i could fix things! I was in so much pain and he couldnt even come to check on me. Not just his X But his friends to and the kids. And the only way we can get closer is by communicating as much as we can. He goes out at night with his friends when his daughter is staying with him, but uses her presence as a reason not to spend time with me, yet he is happy to do Thanksgiving together. but when you asked him he keep saying i dont hate you i hate your attitude sometimes. he would nvr go out of his way to do anything for me now and it makes me wonder why because what am i lacking? yes, I did reply. We both have good jobs and have a beautiful life together. This has all happened within the last 3 months. Hes a good man but not romantic, lately I been feeling like I been putting in all the work & carrying the relationship. If youre last on your boyfriends list of priorities, then you need to stop wondering what to do when he makes no effort in your relationship. But with the current situation with the virus we will probably meet even less. Its frustrating because since he wont do anything around the house, I have to pick up the extra work because I dont want our house to look or smell like a garbage can. I cant meet anyone else because everyone else doesnt want to be in relationships just sex or they are talking to other girls. But If they are not- I think you have to consider moving on. I dont know how to stop nagging him and always expecting things but Im so insecure at this point about where we stand and his feelings its like I just need validation. He keeps telling me that if I think relationships are only about anniversaries and dates, giving each other a label, cheesy stuff, then for him it isnt meaningful. And silly me, I was waiting for his reply all night.I know hes got alot to deal with rn and all Im asking for is a time-to-time update so I can be at peace.Is that too much to ask for? He dresses professionally. Listen to your intuition, it never lies. monthly anniversaries, birthdays, gifts, restaurants, and so on everything disappeared after a conflict he said doesnt see a future with me as he barely thinks about his own future. We just dont talk the same way that we used to. I was the one who then initiated contact and although he has apologised he isnt making effort but says he cares for me and doesnt want to hurt me, Im starting to get frustrated about his lack of action still and dont know what to do! My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now.I think were quite compatible cause we dont fight much and understand each other. You wouldnt even have to be sad or feel bad for him, because the honest reality is that he didnt value all your efforts while you gave a damn. I said sorry like 4 times before I hung up. That it was fine even though I was angry but I didnt show him the anger. I started skate boarding and going to the skate park. SHE STILL HAD HER HARNOUS ON HER. Im at a loss. I have been working 70 hour weeks and I am doing an online MBA. He used to come over to my place so often no matter what day what time. Girl please, stop wading knee deep in his shit! Then he asked me out for coffee later tonight if i am free, I told me I am already engaged ( which I am). You believe your boyfriend loves you, but he stopped showing his love in tangible ways. im in the same boat as you and it really sucks. Keep in mind, he does suffer from depression here and there where he has no energy at times and finds no pleasure in anything. But now everything is so plain and horrible. Nothing on either Valentines Day (was REALLY pissed the first year, this year I knew I wouldnt get anything so I didnt get him anything either) and on my birthday, he said that he had a present for me at his house, then later said he had to order it. Its hard to let go of someone you love, and its not that easy for me. I just feel stupid and I kinda want to give up on him. I have tried to express my feelings over and over, but I still get nothing. Hello Crystal, I am very interested in what you have said, do you mind to give more details please? Also, since he fundamentally had no place to live when quarantine first began his ex wife paid for a month for his AirBnB and he said he couldnt tell her about me yet. This guy is really bad for you, and you know it. She bought it but ofc Im a bad liar. Yep. I honestly think we have a future together, but Im not his priority right now and I wonder if the possible future is worth fighting for. he nvr suprises me, nvr rlly care if im okay or not. Because of the pandemic he doesnt have work and hes enjoying being with his family so hes not in any self chaos mode. Me and him didnt talk much because my mom found out more about my bf and i also couldnt sneak ipads anymore. He has learning and growing to do. It isnt fair. I dont think he would see it this way at all. But he has never considered making me happy for once. Somehow I always felt that he did it because of something I did. I set the bar really, really low. And boom..you would be able to leave him to be single and be open for someone whod treat you just the way you deserve. But yeah, we talk more and sometimes I struggle to text back too since I work full time now! So that could also be taking up his time and mind. when i make plans to go out tgt w him he will in the end cancel it and i feel so fked up. I feel weirdly trapped because I cant really break up with him given there isnt an actual relationship there, but Im in this loop where if I dont respond to HIM like an attentive girlfriend, he expresses this anxiety that gets my attachment system triggered. Afterwards hes been making the time but only when I remind him. but i told him nah! When you're unpredictable, he'll get more excited when you reach out. I am slowly trying to make new friendships and to enjoy myself with people who love me. But he makes time for his boys and gaming everyday. DESAFIO SINTONIA DA PROSPERIDADE: https://hotm.art/bMGvF75N He says he loves me but he just doesnt act like it. And I know its not healthy to compare your relationships to others but Id be lying if I said I never wish my relationship was more like others. I just dont know what to do. I dont know what to do. I waited though and suffered through almost being forced to move across the country when after he graduated and wanted a new job but couldnt find one- that was the only opportunity he had and was about to force me to uproot MY life, quit school, to go. Because i often say this to him when i get angry. I used to take accountability for the frequent fights once they started. Don't be antagonistic towards him, but make him realize how much you Once in a while, I managed to do something to please him. if he is not putting in the effort to help you, that becomes tiring and it is not fair. I moved across the world during the honey moon phase of our relationship. He knew everything about my family and their pictures but not for me. Everything about him was so private I have no idea what he does. He is the type of person who has to be in control of everything, and I feel like when I suggest things for us to do together he shuts me down, but if any of his friends suggest the same thing he is game. Im sorry, and I know it can be a really hard thing to do, but you need to leave. That same night, he stopped replying and was offline cause they had some family time and it seems his granny got ahold of all the electrical gadgets to make them sleep early.He told me the next day and we did catch up.I thought we were going back on track until he,again,stopped replying at some point. Even seemingly harmless criticism and patronizing comments, too, can take a toll. This is literally me. I was so happy I found him. He also gave his daughter my phone number so she could text me as she wasnt feeling well. I suppose its not at all about him but when I have time to think, my mind goes to him. Where Im at in my life, after 5 years, if Im not a fianc, Im gone. This weekend I called for a break, and told him we should spend time apart. He was telling me about his plan for tomorrow and I asked about when we are supposed to go out, he acted annoyed and commented I knew you would be worried about that really? I know youre ignoring me, but I just want to know why or what I did to you? If you No dates, no presents, no initiating anything or trying to make me feel special. Its less taxing on my emotional self to stay lonely. So, whether you've only just noticed your partner giving you the proverbial cold shoulder or have undergone the iciness for weeks/months/years, now is the time to take a closer look at your relationship to establish the reason for the discontent and determine if the partnership is worth mending. He sends me photos while he is out with them. And its so confusing because we do get along on every other front like we laugh and have so much fun when we hangout and talk a couple times everyday, but I tell him I like small silly gifts every now and then, and just anything thats like hey this made me think of you but he still doesnt seem to get it. I have started noticing lots of cracks in our relationship which have eventually led to me feeling unloved, invisible, not a priority and lonely. My expectations: Be an adult while fighting. But hes a good guy with a good job so thought I would see if I could deal with it. I noticed he changed a bit, he does little effort in our relationship. You should never settle. I asked him where he skated since his bio mentioned he skated and then he said he knew me!! Thats Progress! Then, all of the sudden the bottom drops out and he is unresponsive. We do have a son together and me and him both work and I get home cook and clean and take care of our son while he just gets home everyday and relaxes he has embarrassed me many times in front of his family and friends When we barely got together I asked him what he would rate me 1-10 and he said a 6 and that really broke me. ive been always the understanding one. Im 53, he is 51. Is Your Boyfriend's Mother Ruining Your Relationship? He is in law school, I am getting my masters, and we also partake in a long distance relationship. And hes unshowered and playing video games! Did your boyfriend stop making an effort because hes distracted or stressed about something else in his life? He then told me about the basics, and then he let me hold on to him to avoid falling. We have had problems in the past about him flirting with girls on social media but never that Ive known for him to actually meet someone and get their number and asking her out. I feel like it would be easier being single which I dont want cuz hes a great guy other wise. So any advice would be helpful. im still inlove with him up to now but i feel so tired understanding him and ive been unhappy throughtout the relationship. If you feel like hes avoiding you and youve tried to get his attention and it hasnt worked, then dont insist Thats for a few reasons. He has said that he would maybe consider living together in five years. My boyfriend made no effort for my birthday and sent me a 2 line email and when I expressed my disappointment didnt speak to me for days. He however is a very intelligent, high functioning person with autism. When I ask him about it hes adamant that he still wants to be with me for the long haul and that he still loves me the way that he did when we met, which I feel so bad for doubting but its just so hard not to when things change like that. He ignores me for a week and then talks to me like he rlly loves me and nothing happened. I love him however because of his lack of effort Im almost ready to walk away for good. Ladies lay back and observe. He doesnt reply to you, so he doesnt deserve to know youre going to find someone else. He says he loves me but I dont see him actively showing his love. Its not that those things arent wonderful, its just that I. with me very quickly after meeting me. Then rock bottom hits, I ended up having to go to urgent care bc of an allergic reaction to a flu shot I had gotten. I sometimes wonder if my daughter was dating someone like him, if Id tell her to ditch him. Why waste both our times. Im really worried because from October were doing it long distance and Im dreading that if Im not the one to go see him, were not gonna see each other for half a year. He was so understanding and apologized for the lack of communication and promised to try his best to communicate more. Back in June, I suggested we could likely see each other given both of us are very much on quarantine and not going out or seeing anyone else. It hurts, but Ive got to learn to let go. It sucks not feeling secure but really if its meant to be it will be. Day after, he went for work in other city and stayed there for 3months. The man is now in jail. Somewhere around the last 2-3 months have been nothing but fights. Its about dealing with regret, coping with guilt, and healing shame. 58 here and it was us as the major priority for 3 solid yrs.. and now in our 4th yr. it has changed. We have had sex, one time. I feel lonely and he NEVER wants to go out or do anything. We planned to moving in together (I go to live with him), but due to the lockdown, the plan has been changed, because of his lack of the response, I decided not to move in with him for now, when I told him this, he replied that he would like to visit me when he can fly. I always yearn for good morning texts, prioritize seeing me during his off days and checking in during the day. I am the first gf my bf ever had and theres only so much I can pin on that reason. He only tells me he loves me on text hardly to my face until I say it first. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 yrs & was confused and often questioned his love for me & his commitment to me. You figure youll be happier not wanting anything from anyone. I am clearly the one putting any effort into the relationship where I think I have just made it too easy for him. The only thing I get from him are words. It's easy for people to say, "It's I dont want to decorate his car or buy him that cake. 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