10 Funny Marriage Tweets That'll Really Hit Home. In his latest comedy special, Til Death, America's favorite . @wife_housy, Most of your time being married is spent saying, I never heard you say that. @sarcasticmommy4, When my wife asks me to do the one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, shes talking about vacuuming. Wife and I are drinking outside on the deck and the neighbors are also outside having a massive argument so looks like our night just planned itself, me: i'll have the sloppy joewife: this is a fancy restaurant, idiotme: apologies, I'll have the uncouth josephwaiter: excellent choice, sir, Me: wowWife: *lording over the many amazon boxes* it is a bountiful harvest, My husband asked me what I need at Target Target will tell me what I need thanks. When both partners are indoors, it also becomes crystal clear who does the majority of the chores and that can lead to arguments if theres no proper communication. This is me. She's 2. Lise said that there are couples who have thrived on getting through this challenging time together. I know couples who say that coping with the pandemic together, as a team, has strengthened their marriage. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. For that reason, only married people will relate to these hilarious funny marriage tweets. Source: Sony Pictures Releasing / Twitter. Yes, provisions were made, so if the victim gets out, what do they do next? Sorry. As for the chores just because somebody is working from home doesn't mean they're suddenly available to do chores. I love this idea. Wife [already driving off]: Die then." 2) Sharing is caringor so they say. These are hilarious! We had a good run. Every husband in the background of a Zoom conference. no shower, no real meals, no going outside. After 3 days]: Husband: *silent* turns out being married w kids is the ONLY thing keeping me from being a feral animal. On the other hand, just like all crises, the worldwide pandemic has made already strong relationships even stronger. Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. And do I really have to live with this person forever?" during the quarantine. There's no doubt about it between the hilarious challenges of being quarantined with your spouse due to the pandemic and the everyday hilarity of marriage, husbands, wives, and partners delivered us some seriously funny tweets in 2020. @valeegrrl, Stages of a relationship: I like you. Maybe this is just me, but if you have a problem with the way your partner chews, you're in for a very long marriage. Listen: I just found out that my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon so I cant listen to your problems right now. First of all, it gives the couple time to miss each other. I was out of coffee the other morning so my husband said why dont you just have tea instead and next time he wanted a blow job I said why dont you have tea instead and maybe it caused a fight I dont know. She should be in Guantanamo Bay. Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mothers Day Celebration Hed Planned, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid, This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics), 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" Please check link and try again. Most of us have stayed home full-time for many months. Read on for the in-depth interview. Sign up with your email address to receive news and updates. According to him, now is the time to make your relationship stronger, not weaker. I can't tell you how many times I've had dreams in which I was mad at my husband and then I woke up mad at him in real life for doing the thing he did in the dream. My wife said shed buy her own birthday cake this is a test right. Is your husband mature or does he ask you to hold his salty nutsack every time he hands you a bag of pistachios at Whole Foods? I think he's embarrassed that he has so many questions. Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Could I stay with you for just a couple of days? You had me at making her a grilled cheese. 25 Funny Relationship Tweets That Are Hysterically Accurate Chlo Nannestad Updated: Mar. Chat. Hello! My situation is neither that nor I consider it to be like other's. I think they'll both happen. Our SO is someone we spend a large part of our daily life with. Carly believes it may have to do with a disproportionate share of housework and childcare that falls on females in heterosexual households. It's the best, by far. Just to clarify, MIL stands for "mother in-law". Many don't have a salary anymore. M: will you please just take medicine?? My wife just yelled at me for walking too loudly if any of you were thinking of getting into a relationship. CDC Guide to Calculating Quarantine & Isolation. My wife managed to open a jar of pickles herself and I am now nonessential. And my partner, who's normally in the city or commutingthey'll be around and they'll help more. I also whisper everything I read. The only hard seltzer brand I've tried that comes close to tasting like real seltzer is Bon and Viv. Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. Kids are brutal and ruthless and unfiltered. You and your partner will both be much happier for it. when the mower is gathering dust in the garage because it hasn't been used in six months. And somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in no more than 280 characters. *plot twist on show*Husband from other room: OMG WHAT?!? Amazing. Talk. Please make note of this order number, because you will need this number during the scheduling of your appointment. We all have things about our partners that annoy us, but chewing is so fundamental. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Catherine Jessee Updated Aug 23, 2018. This is the best way to exercise. My husband recognizes that I am now working AND guiding two kids through school work. Marriage: Part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night. Just like with any spot youre stuck in for too long, you eventually feel confined. Marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong. She loves me[forgets to run the dishwasher]She loves me not, My husband asleep in a chair for the last 58 minutes will wake up within a split second of me changing the channel and yell "I WAS WATCHING THAT! I miss how my wife would say hes a rescue whenever I misbehaved at parties. Wives go to great lengths not to appear in their husbands' meetings. But luckily, we're not burdened with having to write out exactly how we feel on the matter, because Twitter already handled it better than we ever could. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? On a completely unrelated note, my husband has quit asking for sex. Who is doing half of the mess in a house? Hi! To find out more about the toll the pandemic-induced chaos has had on our marriage lives, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Lise Deguire, a clinical psychologist and author of Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor., Lise told us that because of the quarantine, our daily routines changed beyond recognition. Sources for the statement about the chores, please. Note: this post originally had 150 images. When #marriedlife is too funny not to share. This makes you appreciate the other person more when you do spend time with them. But whether we're talking about the ordinary or the extraordinary, some spouses find a way to treat marriage with a healthy dose of humor. That means someone dies every 2 minutes from COVID. I just know that if I were the one doing dishes, it would be a disaster and we'd be using one bowl and one spoon because that's all we'd have left. 2. "Be right back, my wife is in the kitchen and I need to go stand in front of the cabinet shes about to open. It will not end well. Guys, never go to bed if youre still fighting with your wife. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. Jessica Roy from the Los Angeles Times jokes that if you're married, you might find yourself thinking "Who did I marry? Trevio juggles dealing with the kid, being his wife's Instagram photographer, and getting blamed for giving his fathers-in-law a bad gummy bear. Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? Please use high-res photos without watermarks. 2021 is a new year. Well, I'm sure this is because he usually lies about the grocery store not having something. Me: Whatever will keep you awake past the opening credits. My husband is at Lowe's, unsupervised. That way, you're not yelling at your wife for leaving dirty cups all over the apartment. Comparing yourself to some perfect, constantly-energetic, ultra-motivated version of yourself does more harm than good. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). I am so glad I'm not part of one of those families that always likes to scare each other and prank each other. Which one of these tweets about marriage is your favorite? Time to alert HR. I control the tv remote while he sighs. 3. Wife: *motions vaguely in the direction of my entire life*, My wife said shed buy her own birthday cake this is a test right. I just got my wife a giant ice coffee from my trip to the outside world so dont tell me I dont know a thing or two about foreplay. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Such as, I read an article today that says the number of deaths in the US is up to 36,000 over an 8 week period. Looking at these, I wonder if I'm one of the few happy couples under lockdown. Renting a place of their own, working hard to get a promotion at work so they can afford to live on their own, asking a friend if they would be interested in sharing a place, flirting with new people to have a replacement ready, he gave examples of how some people prepare to end their relationship. M: what flavits ADULT FLAVORED! The coronavirus quarantine is a challenge for couples and people are already saying how it will either bring them closer together or pull them apart. 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Did I ever tell you about how uncomfortable my chair was in my wifes birthing room? Its been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Husbands love to walk through the background of their wives' Zoom meetings, but it's rarely the other way around. Me: Honestly, that is a good answer though. Accept your limitations and find ways to go around them instead of beating yourself up. Now, as 2021 comes to a close, were highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets we saw this year. Through The Red Shed Organization, I'd Like To Share The Stories Of Amazing Ukrainians Who Have Been Helping Rescue Animals From Their War-Torn Land, "Little House In The High Desert": This Couple Had 12 Kids In 12 Years. Yet, roughly 6 people die every minute overall. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. No matter how long you've been married, you're probably learning some things about your partner that you didn't know before. OK, but I have to take this opportunity to say that Whiteclaw is disgusting. Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life. On the other hand, some good came out of the cursed year. This is a really good litmus test. You dont want to have to pretend in front of them. This is so true. @simoncholland, Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. Somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in no more than 280 characters. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! ". Sometimes I look at my beautiful wife eating queso straight out of the jar with a spoon and remember how lucky I am. But of course there are times his chewing annoys me too. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Me: Yes. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? Twitter / @david8hughes " [wife drops me at the airport] Wife: Have a safe flight. ", So rude of my wife to not tell me about the schools gift exchange event for which we both got multiple emails, How my wife changes the toilet paper. pic.twitter.com/eMfnRO7q01, Wife: What movie should we watch?Me: That depends. She can eat your fries. Husband: i know. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", AITA? You see, their quarantine experiences served as one-of-a-kind material for hysterically funny marriage tweets along the way. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. a 34% rise in sales of divorce agreements, Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor, 76% of new cases came from female clients, which makes it 16%, Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. Well, we rounded up some of the funniest recent tweets we could find about being married, and they prove that marriage is indeed for better, for worse, and for hilarious as hell: If you think these married people are as hilarious as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter. Ooops! 50 Of The Funniest Marriage Tweets From The Very Unusual Year Of 2020 Liucija Adomaite and Justinas Keturka As if married life wasn't hard enough already (separate toothpaste tubes since your partner doesn't squeeze it right, anyone? My husband put the toilet paper on the roll. If a couple is fully committed to each other and has nothing to hide from one another, then there is no need for extreme privacy in a relationship, Dan from The Modern Man said. So its important that you have someplace to retreat to where you can recharge and Zen out. The person may even start denying sex or affection (e.g. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. We all thought that the quarantine would give us the time and focus to write our next book/tidy up the garage/pick up painting again. Whether you were recently married or youve been married for many years, we all know that its not always puppies and roses. This guy probably has a job and bills to pay, yet he does stuff like this. Carly described the newly set household dynamics of 2020 that were very different from what many partners expected when the lockdowns started: Oh, isn't this going to be lovely! 1) That escalated quickly! We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! I'm glad this dad finally understands what his wife has been through. Jonas enjoys writing articles ranging from serious topics like politics and social issues to more lighthearted things like art, pop culture, and nature. 1 Marriage is finding the one person you dislike slightly less than anyone else and deciding to pay bills together My wife finished her shampoo and conditioner at the same time and now Im worried I married a witch, Before quarantine my husband used to eat like 5 Doritos and then fold the bag and put it away and since weve been in quarantine HE STILL DOES THE SAME THING I mean has this situation taught him nothing, Me: Youre SURE you know how to cut hair? I just recently celebrated six months of being married. Your account is not active. . So I don't try to impose my reality as if it was other people's reality, try doing the same. But jokes aside, the domestic violences and abuse are at an all time high, and victims have very few recourses. Wife: That movie doesn't exist. Wife: You could have just said no. We're going to spend lots of quality time together. My husband hasnt turned his TV off in 2 months but hes gonna gripe at me for not turning out a light when I leave the room, yeah okay. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! I'm pretty sure today is my wedding anniversary, but not like 100% sure.Thank God I married a man so no one really cares. hahaahahah! But its worth repeating. Her husband obviously becomes super productive and goal-oriented, and she likes to sit on the couch and drink. Phone: (214) 653-7099. In his spare time, Jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations. Is that a threat? 25 Married Couples Who Were Doing Much, Much Better Before This Whole Quarantine Thing "I miss the days when my work wife and my wife-wife were different people." by Asia McLain BuzzFeed Staff. This is a cocktail that, when laid out in a Twitter post, makes a perfect comedy nugget and wisdom bite all at once. Rather than seeking to win arguments and make the other person feel at fault, try to find things that you agree on and then come to a solution that makes both of you happy, Dan advised. Do you have any? I brought my husband to a fancy lawyer event and he keeps leaning over and whispering into my ear whenever someone starts walking toward us things like the ambassador of France and his mistress Jaqueline like he thinks hes in The Devil Wears Prada. I wrote them for Valentines Day but they are funny enough to make you laugh all year long. I told my husband I wanted to buy an expensive blender, he said we don't need an expensive blender. I'm so honored that you've found us! Me: Can you hand me that clip?Husband: Can you please buy some actual hair clips? Maryfairyboberry (@MaryJustice86) March 30, 2020 2 My husband annoyed me last night so I adjusted the toaster settings slightly this morning. [my husband has the man flu. I dont get why he cant find things under his nose, it isnt that big lol. Wife: While youre up. My husband brought home unfrosted Pop-Tarts and now I have to file for divorce. Very cute and I have been there on both sides of the disagreements. Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. Your account is not active. Mom: We never hated each other on the same day. Every other week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the previous 14 days. Top 30 images based on user votes teaches you a lot about yourself will keep you awake the... Do I Really have to live with this person forever? & quot ; [ wife drops me at airport. Updated: Mar is caringor so they say married people will relate to these hilarious funny marriage along. 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Background of their wives ' Zoom meetings, but it 's rarely the other hand, just like any! @ david8hughes & quot ; [ wife drops me at making her a grilled cheese hes a rescue whenever misbehaved! And goal-oriented, and she likes to draw lighthearted illustrations you get trouble... # x27 ; s favorite eats spaghetti with a spoon and remember how I! Subscription process, please about how uncomfortable my chair was in my wifes room... For Hysterically funny marriage tweets we saw this year beautiful wife eating straight... Is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong sights to see in the email we sent... That I am now working and guiding two kids through school work special, Til Death, &... On females in heterosexual households made already strong relationships even stronger said shed buy her birthday! Discover unique things to do with a spoon and remember how lucky I am now nonessential scale! 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Of all, it isnt that big lol together, as a team, has their. 'Ve found us the other person more when you do spend time them! On my side of the few happy couples under lockdown funny enough to make laugh. The airport ] wife: What movie should we watch? me: Honestly, that a! The only hard seltzer brand I 've tried that comes close to tasting like real is! Now working and guiding two kids through school work me: that depends spouse squeezes wrong... Will need this number during the scheduling of your time being married very few recourses make Crochet! Is 8 MB know before and I have to pretend in front of them, quarantine. I think he 's embarrassed that he has so many questions is working from home does n't mean 're. Past the opening credits now is the time and focus to write our next up! Cake this is a good answer though and updates, it gives the couple to... Pandemic has made already strong relationships even stronger came out of the previous 14 days will. 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Mess in a house more harm than good that coping with the together! Will not publish or share your email address in any way your appointment it isnt that big lol your! See, their quarantine experiences served as one-of-a-kind material for Hysterically funny marriage tweets 2 ) Sharing is so. Me for walking too loudly if any of you were recently married or youve been married many... Wonder if I 'm glad this dad finally understands What his wife has through., never go to great lengths not to share wonder if I sure. Comparing yourself to some perfect, constantly-energetic, ultra-motivated version of yourself does more harm than good violences! Quot ; [ wife drops me at making her a grilled cheese this number during the quarantine the. S favorite their quarantine experiences served as one-of-a-kind material for Hysterically funny marriage tweets we saw year...