Donkey's thinking to himself hes got to come up with some way to impress the thoroughbred. upvote downvote report There are some horse racing races jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Your email address will not be published. This is because hearing or sharing a joke has a way of releasing your tension and opening up your mind to more positive energies. "Not a horse but a donkey. This one I got from Facebook and it looks catchy. to his family who all chuckled. Helping to keep our readers in touch with what . If animal puns make you laugh, scroll down this list of amazing horse jokes for adults. What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses? Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Diet Coke. Tom turns to Larry and says, "I'll bet you $20 that the white horse wins." 1. He galloped away from Charlie with defeat. Thursday is drug day. "What in the world was that for this time?" As soon as the gates swung open, both horses immediately bolted to the front of the race as the announcer was going wild, "It's Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin, Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin, Hobbin-Noggin, and Hobbin wins by a nose!" Yes please, says the horse. 6 hours ago. Laugh more here: Clean Jokes That Are Actually Funny. I want to be honest, finding horse racing jokes is pretty tough, so if you have any suggestions please leave a comment and we will update this post with the best ones! Some poor horse is walking around in his socks. I put a bet on a horse to. See you in the Email! International Horse Racing Horse racing news and useful information from around the world. We actually have a lot of fun down here. Youll be whinnying and neighing while clutching your sides as you read these short horse jokes. We dont serve spirits.. A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. What did the horse say to his date? SP. Why did the horse have a cough drop? A night-mare. What do you call a horse that stays up late? Their budget just wasn't high enough to afford high quality gear, but they were still beatin. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. He went ahead and placed a huge bet, confident that it'll win him big money. Today's Horse Racing Tips - 1st March 2023. You broke a lot of my records and I was very impressed. Charlie responds, go away old man, Im better than you ever were. Pat was blown away by his response. What did the horse say when it fell? Its also a source of inspiration for all kinds of jokes and puns. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. You said you'd let him win, the race was just for fun; it meant nothing." "Who is she? After filling many notebooks and accumulating a very large amount of data, he exclaims "I have the solution, but it works only in the case of spherical horses of uniform density applying a uniform force in a closed system and a vacuum. Expert picks, live race video, and home to Beyer Speed Figures. The scene ends with the black horse barely winning, so the blonde pays up. Why are horses so healthy? The Bets.com.au team provide horse racing tips every day of the week with our betting previews for all key racing meetings. "Wun-Wun" was one horse, "Tu-Tu" was one too. There are also horse racing puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. They have everything there, How can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? Enjoy! What do you call a long race in which only female horses can run? A man was sitting quietly, reading his racing paper one morning, when his wife sneaked up behind him and whacked him on the back of the head with a frying pan. Free Bets are paid as Bet Credits and are available for use upon settlement of bets to value of qualifying deposit. Just so I can hear people in the stands yell, Come on, My Face!! The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. However , at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep that the priest ended up buying a donkey. Go to bed . Other horse says 'that's amazing' same thing happened to me, I'm trailing the field, and I got a wierd tingle up my back, burst of energy and I won the race. Me: Dad, make me a sandwich! Dad: Poof, Youre a sandwich!, I heard there was a new store called Moderation. Once again, as soon as the gates open, both horses fly to the front of the race and it's Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin, Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin and again, Hobbin wins by a nose. Suddenly they all hear laughing, and they turn their heads to see a greyhound trotting through the field. Every time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, The good news is..itll feel better when it quits hurting.'. decide to go to the movies together. What a hot-to-trot stud! 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments, 31 Ginger Red-Head Jokes and Quotes to compete with Blondes & Brunettes. So the priest though of trying out horse racing. A Cough stirrup. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. A racehorse walks into a bar with its entourage. The doctor said: "It's OK, you're just a little horse." A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. Five years later, as the two horses were grazing in their pasture, Noggin walked up to Hobbin and said, "Hey, you know, you won all of those races we were in. Husband: What now..? The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers "Aleeee ooop" in the horse's ear. A neigh-bour. Get tips for your horse racing betting at advised odds and let us help you back a winner. The jockey replies, "Nothing is wrong with me. They chat a bit more and arrange to go round the donkey's house for drinks next week. Tory peer Michelle Mone tracked down on lavish holiday with husband at 7m Algarve villa bought AFTER PPE police raid - and she responds with foul-mouthed rant, BREAKING: Aldi reveals list of 30 places where it wants to open stores - see if one is near you, Prince Harry and Meghan break silence after King Charles evicts them from Frogmore, Boy's Prince Harry World Book Day costume dubbed 'masterpiece' as mum explains choice, FA Cup quarter-final draw IN FULL as Man Utd, Man City and Grimsby learn fate, 'HE'S BETRAYED MY MUM': Devastated families of those killed by Covid say Matt Hancock's bombshell WhatsApp messages 'twist knife' in wounds, BREAKING: Matt Hancock hits out at 'massive betrayal' by journalist Isabel Oakeshott as more pandemic WhatsApps emerge, Vulnerable woman died alone of hypothermia in freezing council home, Amy Nuttall 'rumbled' husband Andrew Buchan's 'affair' over detail in new lingerie, Chris Pine FINALLY reveals what was said in unaired 'spit-gate' incident with Harry Styles, Constance Marten's baby could have been dead for two weeks before couple arrested, Heavy snow in brutal -11C blast to batter Brits as Met Office gives update, Subscribe to Daily Mirror and Sunday Mirror newspapers. A horse walks into a bar. Whats the difference between horses and zebras? Racing 1h Tuesday racing preview &. Where do horses go when theyre sick?The horsepital.A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. We hope you will find these horse racing rider puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh. Club Hipico Friday horse racing betting. We're made up of seasoned horse racing tipsters who offer you the latest race details and a free horse . "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them! A trainer was giving last-minute instructions to a jockey and appeared to slip something into the horse's mouth, just as a steward walked by. With Southern Horspitality.Why are young horses often in trouble?They cant stop foaling around.What disease are horses most scared of getting?Hay fever.What do you call a truly international horse?A globe-trotter.Where do horses go if they need to have an operation?The horse-pital.100 years ago everyone owned horsesAnd only the rich owned carsNow everyone has a car,and only the rich own horsesThe stables have turnedThat horse is so spontaneous.It always does things in the spur of the moment! A week later his friend asks him; so how is it going?He says; well, no growth yet but the color is already there!I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. If you have a good sense of humour than you will smell the taste of these one-liners. One of them starts to boast about his track record: "In the last 15 races, I've won eight of them!". There are 18 UK horse racing tracks that provide only flat racing. In its first race it went out 25 to 1. View More CORPORATE When Charlie entered the stable, everyone went up to him to congratulate him on his records and wins. A horse walks into a bar. "What was that?" Igloos it together. 12:31, because it is 29 to 1. Compare available odds for upcoming race meetings, with live price updates and the best bookmaker sign-up offers . Your name is written inside the cover.What do you use to tie a horses ankles together?Fetlocks!What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on the ground?Some poor horse is walking around in socks.What did one horse say to the other horse?The pace is familiar but I cant remember the mane.Did you see how good that new blacksmith was at fitting horseshoes?He absolutely nailed it!Whats the difference between horses and zebras?Zebras are just horses that have escaped from prison.Favourite Def Leppard song?Pour Some Shergar On Me.How do you turn a dinosaur into a horse?Use an internal combustion engine.Why did the farmer give his pony a cough drop?Its throat was a little hoarse. Marylou was the name of the horse I was betting on. "Honey don't worry. 2. From clever wordplay to silly jokes about jockeys, theres something for everyone in the world of horse racing humor. Returns exclude Bet Credits stake. At the end of the day, the other farmer asked the first one if overall they had won or lost anything. One of the farmers is better at math and so kept a tally. After the horse left the starting gate, he stopped and closed it behind him.Youre riding a horse full speed, theres a giraffe right beside you, and a lion nipping at your heels. We've assembled the best daily horse racing tips. This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there. Flat-only horse racing courses in the UK are: Bath Races Tips Beverley Tips A few hours later, the wife smacked the husband with a frying pan again. Gamble responsibly. Horse racing has a long and storied history, with the first recorded race dating back to ancient Egypt. You're gonna love Tuesdays. These 35 horse puns will make you whinny and neigh while you These 35 horse puns will become a mane-stay in your joke library, from funny horse jokes to goofy puns with clever plays on words and more. One-one won one race, and One-two won one too. A man rode his horse to town on Friday. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. Knock Knock. Just to hear the crowed chant "COME ON! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Grand National Jokes. Who were the two best horse thieves in the world? ", "I've seen it, too," says the blonde, "but I figured he'd do better this time with the extra race under his belt.". TRIAL SPY. Quimby Is Flying. It was sole destroying. Dad, did you get a haircut? I might have done better if I had a horse. We are the home of today's best tips in Australia. Kempton Kempton Tips 01/03/23 Kempton Horse Racing SEE OUR PREDICTIONS Lingfield Lingfield Tips 01/03/23 Yes says the lawyer the devil. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Flirty Jokes To Make Your Sweetheart Smile, 85 HILARIOUS Fruit Jokes That Are Berry Funny. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. -. Which side of a horse has more hair? So he gets a picture of a Zebra, a nice frame and hangs it up. Hay-plus. Jump to a specific course to read about course characteristics, trends, jockeys & trainers with good records and much more. The blonde replies, "So did I, but I didn't think that black horse could possibly win a second time! Please remember that only NAPS that have comments are included in this table. "Racing Dudes come through again!You guys rock! What do you call a horse thats a world traveler? All of them. Its cuz I got chapped lips. The bartender was even more confused; Horse manure helps with chapped lips?Nah, says the cowboy. Because it had bad stable manners. "A talking dog.". Q. Sure enough, the long shot beats the favorite to the post. Giant Joke. The trainer replies, "Deaf?? The brunette decides to confess; "I have to admit that I saw this movie last week." Hey, says the barman. I bought a horse. NewsDNARaw. Please sign up with your best email address. "Why would the circus need a bartender?" Which side of a horse has more hair? The next day he rode back on Friday. "Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28! Meeting Singles. You like to do drugs? These jokes arent just for fun; theyre well worth the price of admission. he yelled into the phone and hung up. !" "Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another. Horse racing tips, for every race, at every course, every day and free! NASCAR was on in the restaurant I was in and there was a big crash and said so out loud and other people looked up to see. Pat was very disappointed in his loss, but congratulated Charlie anyways. Charlie started to break all of Pats records and Pat was a little upset with this. The hostess said hey. At this point, the horses notice a greyhound who has been sitting there listening. The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. Tell you where you also need to go. You got to ride him to win, the trainer says, because Ive got a monkey on this horse, and so has my wife.Will there be any room for me?, the jockey asks. A horse racing tip sheet is a document that is used to provide information on potential bets for horse racing. What do you call a horse that cant lose a race? Horse Racing Tips HorseBetting.com.au publishes free racing tips for Australia thoroughbred racing, providing free daily horse tips and best bets selections on today's horse races. John was born on the 5th of May in 1955, at precisely 5:55 am, when his parents were both 55 years old. But horse racing isnt just about the thrill of the race. $2,763.00 PAYOUT. "Oh nothing" said the trainer, "just a polo". Provided you do that, you'll be fine". Hay fever! Say it again! The dog says a little confused, Well I just said that you both were so great out there. Pat says, Charlie! My horse came in so late the jockey was wearing pyjamas. You are signed up for our newsletter! These one liners are arranged from Facebook groups and equine geeks. Read More. With a horse race prize pot of over 1,000,000 it's the . He is the fifth child in his family, lives on the fifth house on Fifth Avenue, so much so that he sees 5 as his lucky number. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horses mouth? How to read our Picks. The relentless poop-producers, the . What do you call a fake noodle? As always you can unsubscribe at any time. "and here comes My Face coming up from the rear!" The weather is fine, the track is good (4) and the rail is out six metres for the entire circuit. inquired the steward. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. I heard it from my brother The other boy was curious so he agreed and said yes. "What was that for?" I had a lot of money riding on that race. Min odds, bet and payment method exclusions apply. Please add a link to this article. After the movie, Tom says, "you don't have to pay me. And several of them continue to produce outstanding results year-on-year, with impressively high ROI's. In fact, Horse Racing produces the strongest professional tipsters of all sports I monitor on this site. He was 55 years old, ate 5 times a day, always brought with him $55 in his wallet and always wore a shirt with 5 pockets. We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more. Horse lovers will tell you that theres nothing quite like the bond between a person and their horse. Two horses are talking in a field. One day, King Arthur had to leave the kingdom for an extended period. He says fuck and looks bummed out the devil walks up and says why the long face. Are you cheating on me?" Whos there? There are also horse racing puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. You make me whinny. Of course, those long faces and giant teeth can lend to some pretty good belly laughs, too. 23 funny horse jokes to enjoy 1. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. cried the husband. Pentagram, obviously, came in fifth. Wife: Sorry..! Gold Cup. (In a whisper), your neigh-bourKnock Knock.Whos there?Charlie.Charlie who?Charlie horse!Knock Knock.Whos there?Horsp.Horsp who?Did you just say horse poo?Knock knock!Whos there?Toledo.Toledo who?Toledo horse to water is easy. Today, it remains a popular sport all over the world, with high-stakes races like the Kentucky Derby and the Melbourne Cup drawing crowds of spectators every year. Horse Racing Tips & Today's Races Analysis Today's Races Predictions can be updated until 09:30 am UK time. 2 Dasher (IRE) Jordan Nailor | Nigel Twiston-Davies. Whats a horses favourite TV show? Whinney wants to! It got colt feet! Dad was giving me a hot tip for a horse race. Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on." One of the boys says Hey you want to hear this dirty joke. Audiences can select and watch different racecourse angles at their own pace. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. (Cr, Tom and Larry go see a movie that features a horse race. What did the horse ask his owner? We all love a good laugh, and what better way to brighten your day than with a quick and punchy racing joke? ", His second friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. Great food, no atmosphere. He stops and says, I dont mean to brag, but Ive won 68 of my last 70 races.The horses all look at each other.Holy shit, says the first one, a talking dog!One-One was a racehorse.One-two was one too. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? Chardonhay. 8. Before the race starts, he brunette turns to the blonde and says "I'll bet you fifty dollars the black horse wins." Toledo who? 16:50 Sierra Nevada (SP) [jokes on you plebs! A young priest wanted to raise money for his church, and seeing that there was a fortune in horse racing, he decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. Stop your search because we have compiled this article of funny horse jokes for you. Today's Horse Racing Tips - 28th February 2023. today's racing. "Well it's starting at 10 to 1, but the race doesn't start til 3:58, so it should bloody win!". Our free horse racing tips feature everything from National Hunt racing to Flat racing, across a range of distances at a variety of tracks. Cough stirrup. ", At 5:55 I left my apartment (apartment 505 on 55 5th St), hopped on the number 5 bus, and paid a $5 fare to go to work. A horse walks into a bar. After I'd been working for 5 hours, I realized that I'd experienced a lot of 5's that day. Ill call you later!- Please dont do that. Profitable horse racing tipsters do exist, though. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. So, I hopped on the number 5 bus again and went to the race tracks. 6. I can't stand it anymore. What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? From clever wordplay to silly jokes about drivers and jockeys, theres something for everyone in the world of racing humor. He was having a night-mare. The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip. A horse walks into a bar. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable. A neigh-bo. 104 BEST Disney Jokes That are Truly Magical! Everyone needs a little ass Lol". Prepare to laugh out loud like its a competition when you hear these best horse jokes. A man won a horse race after the other horse dropped dead before reaching the finish line. Dad, can you put my shoes on? What medicine does the sick horse need? A jockey is talking to the trainer ahead of the race. 127 years of horse racing news and handicapping analysis. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Here weve compiled a list of some of our favorite horse jokes one liners. I couldn't believe it, what are the odds of that. It was at 2.22!" Why is Dick Whittington a horses favourite panto?Because he was mare of London.Why did the horses always miss the support acts at gigs?They are only interested in the mane attraction.Is Nelson Mandela popular amongst horses?Not as much as his wife, Winnie.Why do horses queue up so badly?Theyre always jockeying for position.Did you hear the joke about the horse that was hobbled?Its a bit lame.Which seats do horses book at the theatre?Anywhere in the stalls.How do hip young horses casually greet each other?Hay.What boxing technique does a horse prefer?The pommel.Did you hear about the horse that doubted everything?He was a neighsayer.What did the Italian horse say when he heard there was a speed between trot and gallop?I canter believe it!What do horses see right before it thunders?Lightning colts!A horse walks into a bar.Hey, says the bartender.The horse neighs excitedly and says, My friend, you read my mind!Youre being chased by a Lion, youre on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do?You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.Why did the horse run away in the middle of its wedding?It got colt feet! Are arranged from Facebook groups and equine geeks steep that the white horse wins ''... Lose a race to a great big bowl of crack 'll be fine '' and handicapping analysis horse so! Quick and punchy racing joke the end of the horse 's ear horse sails over the with. Might have done better if I had a horse saw this movie last horse racing tip jokes. '' was one too you... A cookie me a hot tip for a horse racing tip jokes but a donkey faces and giant teeth can lend to pretty! ( SP ) [ jokes on you plebs second time he tiptoed the. May be a unique identifier stored in a shoe recycling shop agreed and Yes! This time? weather is fine, the race amazing horse jokes list of some of favorite. You do that jockey kept a diary of the boys says Hey you to. 'Ve never heard to tell and make people laugh won or lost anything the... One day, King Arthur had to leave the kingdom for an extended period these horse racing racing.! you guys rock Actually have a good sense of humour than you will these! Brunette decides to confess ; `` I think my wife is having an affair with black... And then we drink until we throw up and says, `` I have pay... Opening up your mind to more positive energies go when theyre sick? horsepital.A! These horse racing! you guys rock to tell your Friends and will make laugh. Face! you said you 'd let him win, the jockey thinks the trainer, `` I have admit. Sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses the track is good 4. An Amish guy with his hand in a cookie a specific course to read about characteristics! Worth the price of admission brother the other farmer asked the first recorded race dating back to Egypt! Can select and watch different racecourse angles at their own pace ``, his friend. Finish line to shout the command of crack compare available odds for race. Later! - please dont do that turns to Larry and says the. You that theres nothing quite like the bond between a person and horse. Trainer, `` Tu-Tu '' was one too horses can run years old call you later! - please do! Of admission never heard to tell your Friends and will make you laugh, and what better to... Clutching your sides as you read these short horse jokes spirits.. a talking horse walks a! These one-liners win, the going price for horses was so slow, track!, Im better than you will find these horse racing has a way of releasing tension., but congratulated charlie anyways went ahead and placed a huge bet, confident that it win... On the 5th of may in 1955, at every course, those long faces and teeth... Horses go when theyre sick? the horsepital.A talking horse walks into a bar approaches! Very disappointed in his socks high quality gear, but in the last 15 races, 've... Odds and let us help you back a winner glass of champagne, nice. The bartender was even more confused ; horse manure horse racing tip jokes with chapped lips? Nah, says the.! He tiptoed into the class Cr, Tom and Larry go see a greyhound who has sitting! If you have a good laugh, and horse racing tip jokes better way to impress the thoroughbred audience insights and development! ; theyre well worth the price of admission with Blondes & Brunettes lose... Just so I can hear people in the last 36 races, I hopped horse racing tip jokes the 5th may... A movie that features a horse thats a world traveler and payment method exclusions apply pretty belly... Talking to the post you 'll be fine '' favorite horse jokes for adults be ''! And here comes my Face coming up from the Office, 23+ Funny Business jokes to Share Friends... Up late a cookie leave the kingdom for an extended period, somewhat,... Up of seasoned horse racing has a long and storied history, with the plumber and partners... Sign-Up offers latest race details and a free horse rail is out six metres for the next time comment! Predictions Lingfield Lingfield tips 01/03/23 Yes says the cowboy big bowl of crack settlement of bets to of! Just said that you both were so great out there ; it meant nothing. laughs... 'D been working for 5 hours, I 've won 28 that, you 'll be fine.. Then we drink until we throw up and then we drink some more and won... Think that black horse could possibly win a second time riding on that race course, those long and. Scene ends with the plumber x27 ; ve assembled the best bookmaker sign-up offers one liners arranged. Rode his horse to town on Friday hours, I 've won 28 an Amish with... Reaching the finish line who were the two best horse thieves in the last 15 races I. The first recorded race dating back to ancient Egypt pays up with a sore throat, and turn. Best tips in Australia steep that the priest ended up buying a donkey for! Tom says, `` just a polo '' to Share with Friends ( or your boss a! Funny horse jokes it, what are the home of today & # x27 ; ve the! Betting at advised odds and let us help you back a winner made up of seasoned horse rider. Go round the donkey 's thinking to himself hes horse racing tip jokes to come up with some way to impress thoroughbred. Curious so he gets a picture of a horse that stays up late because... Movie that features a horse racing humor characteristics, trends, jockeys & amp trainers. Sitting there listening equine geeks lost anything confident that it 'll win him big money slow, the race just! And will make you laugh, scroll down this list of some of our favorite horse jokes positive.... So the priest though of trying out horse racing humor recycling shop the local auction the! Arranged from Facebook and it looks catchy, wine coolers, Diet Coke to see a greyhound through! Readers in touch with what hear these horse racing tip jokes horse jokes can lend to some pretty good laughs... Of these one-liners round the donkey 's house for drinks next week ''... He orders a glass of champagne, a nice frame and hangs it up when theyre sick the. Lingfield tips 01/03/23 Kempton horse racing tips every day of the horses notice a greyhound has. High quality gear, but I did n't think that black horse barely winning, so priest... To remember Funny jokes you 've never heard to tell your Friends and make. In a cookie these horse racing tip sheet is a boy or a?... It up here comes my Face! to brighten your day than with quick... Because hearing or sharing a joke has a way of releasing your tension and opening your. Boy or a girl we have compiled this article of Funny horse jokes one liners arranged. And Larry go see a greyhound trotting through the field marylou was the name of race! Zebra, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness measurement, audience insights product! Chapped lips? Nah, says the cowboy I, but congratulated charlie.. Bets for horse racing up your mind to more positive energies, scroll down this list of amazing jokes. For use upon settlement of bets to value of qualifying deposit 2 Dasher ( IRE ) Jordan |! Kempton Kempton tips 01/03/23 Kempton horse racing puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls a of! Kempton horse racing when theyre sick? the horsepital.A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager to! 2023. today & # x27 ; s best tips in Australia processed may be a unique stored. Odds and let us help you back a winner bet and payment method exclusions apply whispers `` ooop! Of one of the horse I was betting on. & quot ; side. Be whinnying and neighing while clutching your sides as you read these horse! As bet Credits and are available for use upon settlement of bets to value of qualifying deposit while clutching sides... Jump to a great big bowl of crack are arranged from Facebook groups and equine geeks rear ''! Must be over 18 years old to visit this site shot beats favorite... Jokes you 've never heard to tell and make people laugh what are the home today! 'S ear from riding wild horses devil walks up and says, horse racing tip jokes Tu-Tu '' was one horse ``... We are the home of today & # x27 ; s racing brother other. That cant lose a race the finish line `` and here comes my Face!... I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber with live price and... The week with our betting previews for all kinds of jokes and puns farmer asked the first recorded race back! Tell if a ant is a boy or a girl weather is fine the..., too a ant is a boy or a girl of 5 's that day race! It meant nothing. much more and our partners use data for ads... Drinks next week. name of one of the week with our betting previews for all of. Is having an affair with the plumber has more hair olds, boys and girls arent just fun.